And by he, I mean Hurley. My 10 pound, canine shaped, wrecking ball.
I do believe that you’ve seen a post or two about his many bouts of destruction. There’s the Soccer Ball Incident
and the…
Little Lamby Murder to name a few.
Those are seriously the least of my worries compared to some of the things he’s been destroying lately. He has destroyed 3 DVD’s; one of which was the movie Marley & Me. You know, the one about the world’s worst dog.
Irony is a bitch.
More recently he decided to remove a strap from a bra that I had hanging from my closet door. You seriously have no idea how many times I’ve walked into my apartment only to find a shredded mess that could only be identified by color and texture.
Now let’s get to possibly his worst bout of destruction…ever.
I recently renewed my lease for my apartment. I signed a 12 month lease. Most apartments will shampoo your carpeting on a yearly basis or when you renew your lease. I was excited about this as I tend to be a clean freak (I know…surprising). Plus you never know what your previous renter had done on the carpeting of my apartment.
The carpet cleaning was scheduled for sometime on May 21st. May 21st fell on a Thursday. That meant that I would be at work and unable to supervise the carpet cleaning crew. No biggie. But I was supposed to lock up my dog. That’s pretty much standard protocol when it comes to apartment stuff. Lock up your vicious animals so they don’t eat Jose the carpet shampooer. Really, his name is Jose.
I had completely forgotten about locking Hurley up until after I had already gotten to work. I called the leasing office and talked to Nancy. She’s a pretty nice lady and was kind enough to come put Hurley in the bathroom before the carpet guys got to my apartment.
Now if I would have been thinking clearly, I would have had her put him in his crate instead of the bathroom. There are far too many things that could be destroyed in the bathroom. His crate would have kept him from his destruction.
When I walked into my apartment after work I was excited to see that my carpet was freshly cleaned. Hooray!
Then came the shocker…
Hurley, who was barking up a storm, thoroughly pissed off that he was locked in the bathroom, had done damage that I didn’t even know was possible.
FML!
What is the white crap all over the floor you may ask..??
After closer inspection I realized that it was paint. Paint chips, probably full of lead. And pieces of toilet paper. A whole roll to be exact.
I was speechless. I just stood there frozen. Of course Hurley darted out the door like a bat out hell and was hiding under the coffee table. He always hides when he’s destroyed something. Probably because he knows I will beat him with the remainder of the object in question.
Ok…so there are paint chips littering my bathroom floor. Let’s find out where they came from, shall we?
Are you kidding me!?
That is the back of my bathroom door. The little punk had scratched the paint off from the bottom to the middle of the door. There is no way that this could have been an easy task as it seemed like there were at least 7 layers of thick, latex paint on the door.
I have no idea what I’m going to tell the apartment complex when I finally ship out. “Umm…the paint was peeling…really badly.”
I suppose that Hurley’s destructive habits are partially my fault as he is left home alone a lot and probably doesn’t get enough exercise which is the worst thing for an energetic dog. But still….
Nancy from the apartment complex was even nice enough to put one of his raw hide bones in the bathroom with him. To…ya know…keep him occupied.
The bone was the only untouched item in the entire space. Spiteful jerk!
Jerk!
If you look to the right of the picture you can see that the little plastic thingy that holds the toilet paper roll is gone. Destroyed.
I cleaned up the mess and held my composure. There wasn’t really any use in getting upset.
And besides…if anyone is looking for a quick and easy paint removal service I may be able to make a few extra bucks.
Did I Do That??
PLSF
And he was totally right. It wasn’t worth swearing about. I didn’t die. Didn’t even get a scratch. Didn’t harm the fence or the bike; which was of course my main concern. And didn’t get my precious face run over. All was good and well with me and the world. 
