Pegleg Starfish

Damn, I’m getting good at clever post titles. 

Today I cleaned out my purse.  If you’re a woman who carries a purse you know about purse cleaning.  I suppose there are some guys out there who might know about this too.  But I think they refer to them as man-bags, not purses.  Either way, they all need a good cleaning out once in a while. 

I think there’s something invigorating about cleaning out your purse.  It’s like getting a fresh start at life.  You feel more organized and in control.  I never used to carry a purse.  A wallet was all I needed.  Then the day came where I felt the need to carry a giant purse in which I filled with junk.  There was now way that I would be able to leave home without carrying 85 things with me. 

I think that a “What’s in Julies Purse” snapshot would be a fun thing to do on a yearly basis.  The items that I have deemed ‘essential’ will change over time.  When I’m a Mom, I’ll have to carry crap like baggies of Cheerios, baby wipes, and little pink barrettes with poodles on them.  When I’m old, I’ll have to carry things like bladder medication, adult diapers, and extra rubber tips for my cane.  Think about it…what’s in a woman’s purse can tell a lot about her life at that particular moment.  

My purse has suddenly gained 87 pounds and was digging into my shoulder when I carried it.  Not cool.  Time for a purse cleanin’. 

Let’s take a look see.

Purse contents:

• Wallet  (that’s another mess altogether)
• Green memo pad  (I’m using this to keep track of calories, most of them anyway)
• Cell phone  (I don’t really use this much, but it’s nice to know that I have it)
• Red leather business card carrier  (my Mom bought me this for Xmas.  I use my business cards all the time, but not really for business type things.  I throw them in the fish bowls that restaurants have.  Each week they give away a free lunch.  I haven’t won anything yet.)
• Tweezers  (they are in that shiny red case.  I don’t pluck anymore, remember?)
• Peppermints  (I have a bad habit of grabbing handfuls of these when leaving restaurants, I never eat them)
• Green Sharpie  (Green is my fave color)
• Three chapsticks (I really like the red one.  It’s called Un-Petroleum.  Not greasy and doesn’t taste like mocha-cherry-sparkles.  I don’t really use it much though)
• Car keys  (my key chain is surprisingly sparse)
• Four ink pens  (why would I ever need 4 pens?  I really shouln’t carry clicker pens in my purse in case they get clicked (?) and leak ink all over the inside of my purse)
• A serving size of Roasted-salted Almonds (I am going to carry me with these at all times.  If I get hungry I’ll eat these instead of a candy bar.  That’s the plan anyways)
• Three packs of Extra sugar-free gum  (these are also good to carry if you’re on a diet.  Have a stick of sweet tasting gum to curb a sugar craving.  At least that’s what the fitness mags say)
• Three things of eyeshadow (again…why three?)
• Three packes of Crystal Light On the Go Energy Drink Mix  (T and I should join Sam’s Club for this item only.  We buy 4 packs of this stuff a week!  This is successfully replaced our morning caffeine.  Actually it’s replaced all of T’s caffeine.  He doesn’t even keep Mountain Dew in the house.  It’s yummy too and makes drinking water bearable)
• A paper clip  (never know when I’ll need to pick a lock)
• Band-Aid  (I’m always getting injured.  I shoud really carry a first aid kit with me)
• Tampon (It’s Super  in case you were wondering-Sometimes I gush like the Hoover Dam.  Wow…I apologize for saything that.)
• $1.10  (that’s enough to buy…….umm…err…?)
• Coupons  (I spelled it Q-Pons once.  That’s wrong.  These coupons were supposed to be used during our grocery trip this weeked.  Both T and I completely forgot about them.  We purchased every single item that we had coupons for.  Damn!)
• Not Pictured: 
  • Random trash  (I didn’t think you’d care to see paper scraps, dirt and empty gum wrappers)
  • My camera  (I always carry my camera with me.  It should be obvious to you why it wasn’t in the picture)

My purse actually wasn’t that bad.  I thought this would be a fun segment here at PLSF and I was totally right-as usual.  If you have a purse or a man-bag, dump it out.  Take a picture.  Then repeat next year. 

I think that April 15, 2009, we’ll do this again.  Maybe it will look different.  Maybe not. 

Maybe my life will have taken a turn for the worst and my purse will be filled with a hand gun, crack needles, red lipstick, fish net stockings, and lube.  

Let’s hope not.

J

PS:  Do you call it a purse or a hand bag?  I call it a purse.  If you’re snotty, I bet you call it a hand bag.