Pegleg Starfish

I like to think that I’m a good parent.  No-not a real, like kid type parent.  An animal parent.  T and I adopted our puppy Hurley at the end of January.  Right now he is about 6 months old. 

I really think that I am one of the best, if not the best pet parent possible.  I took him to puppy socialization classes for Pete’s sake.  This was supposed to mold him into the perfect dog.  He was able to play with other puppies to get him socialized so he wouldn’t be the weird kid at school.  It’s just like a play date for your kids.  Hurley is a pretty smart dog, he was the quickest to learn a trick at puppy classes and I’ve been able to teach him a few things since then.  He knows sit, lay down, stay, off, stop it, and shut the hell up.  Truthfully, he really only knows sit, stay and lay down.  He will do those perfectly.  As long as you have a treat in your hand.  In general he’s a pretty good dog, compared to some other dogs I’ve been around.  He even comes when he’s called most of the time.  And he’s very well behaved at the dog park, surprisingly. 

But…it’s hard to remember that he’s usually a good dog when he’s annoying the heck out of you.  He has a bad habit of jumping up on people.  I think he gets away with it because he’s small.  It’s a little different when a Great Dane jumps up on you.  It’s not so cute then.  But how do you tell a stranger not to pet your cute, little doggy when he jumps up.  It’s just awkward, so I never say anything.  He gets a pat on the head when he jumps on a stranger.  It’s almost unavoidable.  

He also has a habit of jumping up on the backs of your legs when you’re walking away from him.  This really ticks me off and I have no idea how to stop him.  If I had a real job where I had to dress up and wear nylons, they would have a run in them everyday.  Of course the dog would be the least of my worries if I had a job like that.  I think I would rather die than have to wear nylons to work everyday.  But you can see my point. 

And I won’t even begin to talk about the constant chasing, hissing, and barking that comes when the cat actual ventures off of the kitchen counter.  I think she secretly likes the attention from the dog.  She likes to tease him.  And he has a tiny brain because he’s a dog, so he falls for her tricks all the time. 

He still isn’t completely potty-trained.  I do the whole crate thing, which works great.  I seriously don’t think you can have a dog without having a crate to keep him in when you’re not home or able to supervise them.  he normally doesn’t pee or poo when he’s in his crate.  That’s the whole point, dogs don’t like to soil their dens where they have to sleep.  When T and I are home, he comes out of the crate and is free to roam our kitchen and living room.  It’s a small space, but we somehow seem to let him out of our sight for .00003 seconds and he pees on the carpet, or the bed, or the couch cushion, or recently the litter box!  If I am not diligent about taking him out every hour or so he will pee on the carpet.  He doesn’t go to the door and whine, he doesn’t come up to me and put his paw on me, basically he does not let me know that he has to go pee.  He just does it whenever he has to.  He won’t hold it unless he’s in his crate.  Luckily, we haven’t had an indoor poo accident in a while.  Knock on wood.  What am I doing wrong?  I’m a good parent!!!  This is exactly what a parent says to them self when they find a doobie in thier kids coat pocket.  It’s called a doobie, right?  I really have no idea. 

His newest bad habit is eating litter.  Not just litter, but clumps of litter.  And what’s is a clump of litter made of?  Urine or poo.  How freakin’ gross is that?  He likes to sneak into her litter box and bring a clump into the kitchen or living room and then snack on it like it’s a bag of popcorn.  Now we have to get one of those litter boxes with the hole on top so he won’t be so tempted to snack.  That’s the plan at least. 

I’m a good parent!  Really, I am.  But where did I go wrong?  Is it because I don’t tell him I love him enough?  Is it because he lived a dangerous street life before I adopted him?  Is it because I give him really dirty looks when I get mad? 

I’m seriously thinking twice about having children someday. 

 A kinda cute random video to remind me not to kill him.