This past Friday I did something for the first time in my life. No not cocaine or prescription pills. Been there done that.
I went out to eat by MYSELF! Lame, I know. But sort of triumphant in a way. Although, I’m sure I could have been more triumphant had my restaurant of choice not been the nearby Subway. Hey, you have to start small. Normally, I would have just ran in-got my food-then went home to eat by myself. Instead I chose the high road and enjoyed my 6-inch turkey sub, baked chips, and pop in the restaurant…by myself.
For some people I think that this is a normal thing. Like the office people who might go out to lunch and eat dinner by themselves, or the fashionista chick will go to a restaurant by herself. But this is something that I’ve never ever done. I always see those people when I’m out in restaurants. They look peaceful and content. Content with being in a restaurant, enjoying their food, alone. I was jealous in a way. The fact that I’m in a giant city by myself, means that I have to find things to do to amuse myself. Have I mentioned that I don’t have any friends. I’m not here to get your pity, but I really don’t. Wait..I am here for your pity.
Moving on.
I was happy that I went out to eat by myself. Now I know that I can do it without being teased and taunted by the public. As if anyone really noticed that I was there. By myself. Although, I have to admit that I had a hard time relaxing while I was there. I just felt strange. When I’m with T-I don’t think about other people and if they are looking at me or whatever. But it’s different when you’re alone, no one to hide behind. Luckily for me I prepped by bringing a magazine with me so I could pretend to be busy reading. Ya know, like the CEO’s at the coffee shops who sit there and read their newspapers. Only I’m not a CEO, I don’t drink coffee, and I wasn’t reading a newspaper. But it’s similar. Kinda.
I was also rescued by a rare phonecall. My cousin Ryan called me to chat. That took a little pressure off of being there alone. I could act cool and be totally into my conversation. But after reflecting on my mondane experience of going out to eat alone, I realized that I should just get over myself. I’m sure that no one noticed that I was there alone. Having T so far away means that I have to go out into the world and do things. By myself. Like a normal person.
So..give it a try. Go out to eat by yourself. If you’re really brave-go to a real restaurant with waiters and such. I might try that next weekend. Maybe I’ll even hit up a movie. By myself.
Or maybe I’ll just stay home and watch Spongebob. Yeah, Spongebob sounds good.
One small step at a time.
J
Filed under: Me, random | Tagged: alone, cocaine, drugs, Eat Fresh, eating out, food, Houston, Jared, magazines, movies, MTV, prescription pills, Restaurants, Spongebob Squarepants, Subs, Subway, Turkey, vain
Eating in a subway alone, that is depressing. Well, eating Subway, at least that part of it,that would turn a woman’s stomach — ew, how could you? Is it just me or does every Subway have a distinct scent of bleach on a mop?
You oughta live downtown, in a real downtown, eating alone is one pillar of life’s stucture. You know, be a hip Petula Pegleg Clark…”When you’re alone and life is making you lonely you can always go… da-da-da…”
And of course, a movie alone is sheer luxury. Every city woman knows that, especially during the afternoon.
–fcm
http://mrsmomkit.blogspot.com
julie, enjoy your alone time ! i would give anything to eat alone. if i get to go to wally world alone it’s my own slice of heaven. someday you will have 18 kids and you won’t even be able to pee without someone busting in on you little j yelling “mommy little t hit me!!!!!” and inside you’ll cry for some peace and silence so live it up while you can:)
When you say that you may go to the movies alone this weekend….You better not go see Dark Knight without me. Unless it miraculously comes out here in Nigeria before I come home. I will have to check it out.
No 18 kids for me Jo! I’m thinking a much smaller number like 13 or 11.
With all this alone time I’ve been having lately, I don’t think I’m able to appreciate it as much as a person who doesn’t ever have any alone time. Guess I just have to find a good medium spot. But I know it won’t last forever. I will do my best to make the most of it.
fcm: I will go to a real restaurant and a movie alone! I promise. And not a Subway. And now that you mention it they do all have a distinct smell of bleach. Nice observation!
I am proud of you! I have been with my husband for 6 yrs and his offshore shift is 40 on 40 off…and I can’t go eat alone! You are an insperation, I might try to baby step since you did it! Subway sounds like a nice place to start. Our Subway never smells like bleach, I will just have to bring ear plugs to ignore the teenagers behind the counter talking loudly about their weekends and high school!
I LOVE to eat alone!
all alone! I also love to get the paper, a good pen and do the crossword too. I never feel self-conscious – I find it really relaxing. It nice to not have the kids there.
Wait Wally World really exists? I though that was from a National Lampoon movie?
You go girl and eat your dinner alone. It’s all about confidence. Eating a meal by yourself is not depressing its relaxing.
I will retreat from behind my curtain of blog stalkerness and leave a comment for you! Love the blog by the way….makes me really wish we talked more in college!
But yes, I know what you mean….Mike works all day and I’m here all alone trying to find a job in a big new city with no friends or anything. Eating out all by myself would be such a huge step! Man, it was big enough for me to walk around the mall by myself for the first time. What a loser I’ve become!
You know, next time I’m eating out, I’m gonna go look around for people eating alone and quietly pass judgement on them from across the room. Or maybe I’ll get wrapped up in the book I’ve brought because I’m eating alone too.