Eat Fresh

Posted on July 22nd, 2008 by admin

This past Friday I did something for the first time in my life. No not cocaine or prescription pills. Been there done that.

I went out to eat by MYSELF! Lame, I know. But sort of triumphant in a way. Although, I’m sure I could have been more triumphant had my restaurant of choice not been the nearby Subway. Hey, you have to start small. Normally, I would have just ran in-got my food-then went home to eat by myself. Instead I chose the high road and enjoyed my 6-inch turkey sub, baked chips, and pop in the restaurant…by myself.

For some people I think that this is a normal thing. Like the office people who might go out to lunch and eat dinner by themselves, or the fashionista chick will go to a restaurant by herself. But this is something that I’ve never ever done. I always see those people when I’m out in restaurants. They look peaceful and content. Content with being in a restaurant, enjoying their food, alone. I was jealous in a way. The fact that I’m in a giant city by myself, means that I have to find things to do to amuse myself. Have I mentioned that I don’t have any friends. I’m not here to get your pity, but I really don’t. Wait..I am here for your pity.

Moving on.

I was happy that I went out to eat by myself. Now I know that I can do it without being teased and taunted by the public. As if anyone really noticed that I was there. By myself. Although, I have to admit that I had a hard time relaxing while I was there. I just felt strange. When I’m with T-I don’t think about other people and if they are looking at me or whatever. But it’s different when you’re alone, no one to hide behind. Luckily for me I prepped by bringing a magazine with me so I could pretend to be busy reading. Ya know, like the CEO’s at the coffee shops who sit there and read their newspapers. Only I’m not a CEO, I don’t drink coffee, and I wasn’t reading a newspaper. But it’s similar. Kinda.

I was also rescued by a rare phonecall. My cousin Ryan called me to chat. That took a little pressure off of being there alone. I could act cool and be totally into my conversation. But after reflecting on my mondane experience of going out to eat alone, I realized that I should just get over myself. I’m sure that no one noticed that I was there alone. Having T so far away means that I have to go out into the world and do things. By myself. Like a normal person.

So..give it a try. Go out to eat by yourself. If you’re really brave-go to a real restaurant with waiters and such. I might try that next weekend. Maybe I’ll even hit up a movie. By myself.

Or maybe I’ll just stay home and watch Spongebob. Yeah, Spongebob sounds good.

One small step at a time.