Pegleg Starfish

Man Trip ‘08 is in full swing.  I haven’t had much contact with them as they are apparently too busy to chit chat.  T obviously didn’t schedule, “Chatting with our women” into the itinerary.  But that’s OK…I’m living the high life here in Houston.  Leading an exciting night life as a budding socialite is hard work.  I don’t have time to chat about some stupid vacation across the wild West.  Whatever…I could care less about seeing things like the Grand Canyon.  It’s not like it won’t be there ten years from now when I’m finally able to get there. 

Ok…enough about me.  Back to the real excitement.  Man Trip ‘08. Which I have again compiled into a ridiculously bulleted list.  The bullets don’t really make sense.  I just use them for fun. 

*We left off yesterday with T and Big A in a hotel room in Wickenberg, AZ (a little past Phoenix). 

Let’s continue…on this crazy, vicarious vaca.

Day Two

• Departed from hotel at 8:00 a.m. (Mountain Time) 
  • Stopped for gas in Wickenburg, AZ
    • Fuel Price=$3.99 per gallon
    • Total Fuel Cost=$42.63
    • Average Miles Per Gallon=24.3
• Arrived at Golden Nugget for breakfast.  T and Big A were pleased, but slightly disturbed as the food at the Golden Nuggest was identical to that of Sandy’s in Michigan.
  • Sandy’s is a family style restaurant that is owned and operated by T and Big A’s Mom and Dad.  And by Mom and Dad, I mean Mom. 
• Arrived in LAS VEGAS at 3:30 p.m. 
  • The guys could already feel their buns tingling.  It was heat from their money; suddenly burning a hole in their pocket.  They had arrived to the city of sin. 
  • T and Big A were suddenly wishing that they were single.  Although both love their girlfriends very much.  It was just something about Vegas.  On the lookout for hotties and hookers. 
    • Stopped at a car wash.  Apparently they needed a slick ride to roll through Vegas. 
      • Cost=$7.00.  Almost got ripped off by shady attendant who was supposed to get them change.  Had to hunt him down and beat him up to get their change. 
      • Mood:  Victorious
  • Checked in to the MGM Grand!  Realized that they could experience Vegas without ever leaving the hotel. 
    • Were pleased at the quality of the hotel and the employees.  Room was larger than expected.  On 11th floor.
    • Enjoyed a “regular” dinner buffet at the hotel.
    • Prepped for their first Vegas show (at MGM Grand):  Cirque Du Soleil: KA  Check out how sweet this is:  www.ka.com Watch the trailer!
      • Cost of Tickets=$165.00 per person! 
      • Expecting an AMAZING show! 
      • Very interested in the ‘mechanics’ of the show.  Wishing they had back stage passes to get up close and personal with the stage elements…and female gymnasts.
• Total travel time (from hotel in AZ to Las Vegas) 7.5 hours
• Miles Travelled:  Not sure?  Too blind from excitement about Vegas to record crucial data. 

 (The following statements are a little sketchy.  I don’t know if these details are exact.  Blame Big A as he gave me sucky details from their day!)  SEE UPDATE BELOW!

• Either left MGM Grand and went to the Hoover Dam and then went back to MGM Grand  OR  went to the Hoover Dam before they reached the MGM Grand
  • I’m assuming that the first option is correct, but I could be wrong.  Big A’s not one for details…obviously and the itinerary is a little confusing in this area. 
• Arrived at Hoover Dam  (Time Unknown)
  • Prepped for an intense engineering based tour of the Hoover Dam
  • Also prepped for an insane amount of Dam jokes.  Have some dam jokes of their own up their sleeves. 
  • Cost of Tour=$30.00 per person
    • Tour was not as amazing as they had expected it to be. 
    • Tour guide had poor attitude and wasn’t humorous.  Had anticipated more Dam jokes.  Other tour takers came up with their own dam jokes.  8 dam jokes were heard on the tour, but none by the guide.  Apparently a parent had complained about the dam jokes so the guides can’t tell anymore dam jokes.
    • T and Big A give the tour a critical grade of C+
    • Enjoyed seeing the dam and gave the actual dam a grade of A
    • Sweated like whores in church as it was 118 degrees outside during the tour.
  • Big A spoke with his girlfriend, Ashley, before embarking on the dam tour and it was noted that she make a horrible dam joke.  “Have fun with your dam brother!”  No one laughed. 
  • Visited the Dam gift shop and were greeted by a loud statue.  Big A jumped out of his dam skin.  It was not noted if they purchased anything at the dam gift shop for their dam girlfriends. 
  • Were inspired to write a short story/haiku about the Dam. 
    • Appropriately titled: 

 

DAM STORY

 

 

Hoover dam was full of dam fun!

Dam turbines are huge!

Dam holds back a lot of dammed water!

The dam store sells a lot of dam merchandise!

Sadly though, the dam parking was not good…

 

• Random points of interest:
  • Spotted a strangely shaped cactus at 8:43 a.m.  Cactus resembled a man with his hands in the air while sustaning an erection. 
  • Noted that the roads from Phoenix to Vegas were similar to a rollercoaster ride.  Thankful for Dramamine as both have the stomachs of premature babies. 
  • Radio stations still in short supply.  News radio stated that people in the U.S. drove 12.2 billion fewer miles that June of 2007. 
  • Couldn’t resist sticking their money into the first slot machines that they spotted at MGM Grand.
    • Current Gambling Debt as of 6:47 p.m. on Wednesday
      • T=$5.00  (He stated that he had no idea what he was doing and lost it almost instantly)
      • Big A=$1.00  (well…he’s doing much better than T)
  • Overall mood of the day was “Excited, but not too excited.”  It was noted that real men don’t get excited about things like girls do.  Facial expressions were kept at an even keel throughout the day to avoid looking like they were actually having a blast. 

 

*At the time of the last update; T and Big A were getting ready to go to the Cirque Du Soleil show at the hotel.  The show will be the starting point for tomorrows Man Trip ‘08 update and then we will continue on Day 3 of the trip. 

In the mean time I’m banking up some really exciting stories that have to do with ME and MY EXCITING LIFE that will be used for the blog once this stupid Man Trip is over. 

OK…not really.  I’ve got nothing.  Srsly!

 

 

J

UPDATE:  After talking with T about yesterdays events and the fact that I was confused on how things played out…I was finally able to get some clarification.

• T and Big A actually went to the Hoover Dam before going to the MGM Grand hotel in Vegas.  This was a slight stray from the itinerary, but they were a little ahead of schedule so they did the dam tour before checking in at the dam MGM.  Know the world knows. 
• It was also noted that the car wash was necessary as the pair had driven through a rather large swarm of locusts quickly followed by a large swarm of dragonflies.  T could no longer see out of the windshield so it was deemed necessary to stop at a car wash.  A car wash that had a creeper that almost ripped them off. 
• T has taken back the role of note taker as Big A was unable to give clear details about the trip.  Thank god.

OK…I feel much better now that I’ve cleared up the discrepancy.  I’m sure you do too.