Pegleg Starfish

YES!  They are still on vacation!  I mean seriously…who can take a vacation?  A real vacation.  I hope you’re one of those lucky people who are able to take a real vacation once in a while.  If you’re not…you’re in the right place.  I’m chronicling the killer vacation that my boyfriend (T) and his little brother (Big A) are currently on.  Without me!  They’ve titled it, Man Trip ‘08.  Fitting.  I am forcing them to record every detail about their entire trip so that I can blog about it and pretend that I’m also on the vacation.  I’m sure it will feel much more real once I see the pictures.  Or not. 

Let’s recap on MT ‘08:

8/12: 

• Drove past Phoenix, AZ  (Main day of travel)

8/13:  

• Toured the Hoover Dam
• Made it to Las Vegas and checked in at the MGM Grand Hotel
• Enjoyed an amazing Cirque Du Soleil show that evening.

8/14: 

• Day 2 in the City of Sin
• Did the tourist thing in Las Vegas (M&M Store, Magic Show, Game Works, etc.)
• Went to “Tournament of Kings” for a dinner show and had a great time.
• Did some more touristy stuff in Las Vegas.  Slept.

8/15: 

• Checked out of the MGM Grand Hotel.  Waved goodbye to Sin City.
• Drove to the Grand Canyon.  Did the Skywalk tour thing.
• Checked into their campsite.  Pitched tent.  Roasted weenies.  *Our starting point for today’s post.

Day 4 Continued:

• Settled into their cozy tent after filling their bellies with some delicious Man Food. 
• Heard some rumbling.  Big A assumed it was T’s stomach/colon.  Turned out to be the start of a horrendous storm.  T and Big A had a rough night that didn’t allow for much shut eye.  Claimed it to be one of the loudest storms that they’ve ever experienced.  Were worried that their tent was going to leak and that a tree may fall on their head.  Luckily, neither of the afore mentioned issues occurred.  They heard plenty of other Canyon campers cursing at their leaky tents.  It was super wet and muddy and likened their tent to a water bed as it was virtually floating in the water.  Determined that dessert dirt doesn’t soak up any water. 

Day 5: 

• In the morning they realized that their tent may have leaked a little bit as there was a large wet spot on Big A’s sleeping bag.  On the crotchal area.  T secretly assumed that Big A had an accident during the night. 
• Spent the first part of the day exploring the Grand Canyon.  Big A noted that the “canyon was grand.” 
  • Took a 3.5 mile hike on the rim of the canyon.  Took tons of pictures. 
  • Realized that they were possibly being followed by government spies who happened to resemble chipmunks and squirrels.  They were everywhere!!!
  • Noted that most of the other tourists there did not speak English.  Heard languages, most of which they couldn’t identify.  Spoke in Pig Latin for the remainder of the day to fit in.
  • Ate lunch at the Bright Angel Lodge at the canyon.  They had a foreign waiter who spoke broken English.  Ate lots of food.  Restaurant smelled “old.” 
  • After lunch they rode a shuttle back to the campsite and realized that there was another big storm rolling in.  Decided not to stay at the canyon the second night as planned.  They like to camp, but realized that a hotel room would be a much more comfortable spot to sleep vs. the floating water bed tent.  They packed up their camping gear which was wet and muddy, said their final goodbyes to the Grand Canyon, and hit the road.  Luckily, they were able to get a refund from the campground for the second night. 
•  Other Miscellaneous Man Trip Info:
  • T and Big A were VERY tired from not getting any sleep the night before.  Felt slightly zombie-ish during the day.
  • Big A, being the insightful philosopher that he is, realized that they hadn’t run into any Emo’s or gothic people while on their trip.  Big A determined that depressed Emo people don’t visit the Grand Canyon for two reasons.  1.  They don’t enjoy being outdoors.  2.  They may be too tempted to jump off the edge to their death. 
  • T and Big A have determined that the buffalo are all gone because they had absolutely no where to hide.  The guys are amazed at how flat and treeless/bushless the land is.  Also noted that any remaining buffalo are super good at hiding like the ”missing kids on the posters at Wal-Mart.”  ………… 
  • Have seen lots of looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong trains.
• Drove to Barringer Crater
  • The Barringer Crater, also known as the Meteor Crater, is a famous impact crater created by a meteorite, located about 55 kilometers east of Flagstaff in the northern Arizona desert.
  • T and Big A enjoyed this stop as it was very interesting and rather cheap.  $15.00 per person to enter the site. 
• Left the Crater and contined rolling down the highway.  Heading towards Roswell, NM.
  • Drove through a big storm.  Hydroplaned.  Frightened. 
  • Heard the song, Dead of Alive, on almost every oldies radio station.   Still feeling contempt towards J (that’s me!) who didn’t allow T to renew his satellite radio subscription.
  • T has determined that T-Mobile service sucks!  He hasn’t had service since before reaching the Grand Canyon.  Is a little angry as he just signed a contract and purchased a new phone with T-Mobile.  But then felt slightly relieved as he realized that he will not be regularly travelling to to the western U.S. often.
  • Funny Roadside Sign Alert:  Spotted a sign that said, We Will Polish Your Wood For Free!” T and Big A had flash backs of their Las Vegas whores.  Became disappointed when they realized it was for a petrified wood polishing service. 
• Reached Albuquerque, New Mexico
  • Ate dinner at Taco Bell.  Cost=$10.00 
  • Gas Fill Up:  $3.68 per gallon.  Total Fuel Cost=$50.02  Average Miles Per Gallon=25.4
  • Plan on finding a hotel in or around the Albuquerque area.  They will hit up Roswell the next day.  Expecting anal probes.
• Total Miles travelled at last update:  2015!

…to be continued.

Oh…what’s been happening with me?  I know you’re curious.  Well…umm…I went for a walk today.  I watched some television.  Had sex with random men.  Not really….I really am that boring.  But luckily for you, I’ve signed up for Twitter.  Click the link on the right hand side to “follow me on Twitter.”  But I won’t really have any exciting Twitter updates as I lead a life with an excitement level that equals that of a hermit crab.  Emphasis on both the hermit aspect and the crabby aspect. 

J