Sometimes I think that I’m insane. At work, I tend to have flashes of insanity at least once a day. Insanity in our lives can stem from a lot of things (kids, work, money, alcohol, traffic, etc.). And I don’t think we need to pay a therapist $100.00 an hour to tell us that we are in fact, insane.
I’m offering this list of “Ways to Be Insane” or at least “Things to do to make people think you’re insane.” I’m bogged down with these job applications and today I actually have a sort of interview. I’m calling it a pre-interview interview. So I spent most of last night researching the organization and practicing my spiel about my level of awesomeness. I’m nervous but confident. I’m so ready for a challenging job. I will try to be normal and not talk about things like, Penis Hats, Breastfeeding, my fur children, and Bingo. Honestly, in real life-I think that I come off as a rather normal person. I think.
DO SOMETHING INSANE TODAY!
19 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
*I realize that random words are capitilized. That in and of itself is a little insane.*
1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don’t Disguise Your Voice.
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it ‘In’.
5. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
6. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ‘ For Smuggling Diamonds’.
7. Finish All Your sentences with ‘In Accordance With The Prophecy’.
8. Don’t use any punct u ation
9. As Often As Possible, Skip Rather Than Walk.
10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
11. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go’.
12. Sing Along At The Opera.
13. Go To A Poetry Recital. Ask why the poems don’t rhyme.
14. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
15. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You’re Not In the Mood.
16. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
17. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’
18. When Leaving The Zoo, Start Running Towards The Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’
19. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’
My faves are: #2, 9, and 10.
Thank you T for passing this list on to me. Are you trying to say something? Like I need to be more insane?
I can do that.
J
Filed under: random | Tagged: funny, humor, insanity, job interview, list, mentally insane, penis, ways to be insane
Good luck with the pre-interview interview! Crossing my fingers for you.
I liked the last one. Here are two more — my all-time favorites:
1) Look at everyone in the room through the tines of a fork. Imagine them all in jail and deny them parole.
2) Dance naked in front of your pets.
Even if people don’t think you’re insane, you will feel a real sense of freedom.
KJ
http://nanadiaries.wordpress.com
11 was lol-inducing.
If my kids were older i would pull #19 on them for sure!
lmbo omg
I tried most of them when I was in school.
They called me to the councelors office!