Pegleg Starfish

Have you ever even heard of broomball?  It’s a sport.  And it’s played in an ice rink, if you’re fancy.  Real down-home broomball is like a ‘poor-mans’ version of ice hockey.  It’s played pretty much the same way, if not the exact same was as real ice hockey.  I’m not real keen on the rules and regulations of sports so don’t take my word for it.

I had heard of broomball before I actually started playing it.  In a town in Michigan there was a huge festival during the winter.  One of the events was a broomball tournament.  You could form your own team and play a bracket and win money.  But it wasn’t the same style of ‘fancy’ broomball that I played.  It was played on an actual frozen lake with actual brooms.  If I remember correctly the players would usually wrap duct tape around the broom bristles to turn it into a sort of stick.  Playing a sport on a actual frozen lake could be a little dangerous as there were lumps and bumps and chucks of ice all over.  This is all ‘assumed’ information as I’ve never actually played the poor mans style broomball on an actual frozen lake.  But I’ve heard stories OK.   

T and I went to college at a University in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan on the border of Canada. There were plenty of frozen lakes around but broomall was played in the hockey rink.  With nice smooth, Zamboni-ed ice.  I don’t think that Zamboni is meant to be use as a verb.  Whatever.  Broomball was one of the few intramural sports that I played but it was definately the most fun.  There was a men’s league a women’s league, and a co-ed league.  I did play a few seasons on a women’s team and that was fun.  The girls got more aggressive then the guys did.  AKA:  some of them were total beotches and I targeted them with my elbows.   I hate bitchy girls.  T played on a men’s league every season of college.  His teams usually consisted of engineers with a few other majors mixed in.  But mainly, it was a group of nerdy engineers.  But for being the nerds that engineers are known for being, I have to say that they weren’t half bad at broomball or sports in general.  When co-ed league rolled around our team usually consisted of the engineer boys and their girlfriends or wannabe girlfriends.  That was always a ton of fun.  We never won any tournaments or anything, but we weren’t too bad. 

Broomball is a tough sport to play.  First of all you’re running around on slippery ice while wearing shoes.  We always had debates about the type of shoes that would work best.  Hiking shoes, tennis shoes, or like those flat bottom shoes (Converse types).  I don’t think it matters what you were wearing on your feet.  You’re running on ice.  You’re going to fall on your ass and/or face.  Ok, so you’re wearing shoes and attempting to run on ice.  Then you have to worry about going after the ball, which was like a tiny soccer ball.  And you have to slide and attempt to stop and knock people out of your way and maneuver a ball with a stick and pass the ball and on an on.  Playing broomball gave me even more respect for hockey players.  You have to be in killer shape to play hockey.  It’s hard to breathe that cool air. 

Here’s a pic of T going for the goal.  Notice the funny stick!  T was a great broomball player although I may be a little bias. 

Score!

Broomball games always ended in a few bumps and bruises.  You inevitable slid into the boards or the goal or other people.  Some players would get crazy with their stick and you would get whacked a few times.  People would get dirty and try to trip you or push you into the boards.  Luckily for us we were forced to wear helmets.  Or else there would be brain matter all over the place as you always slipped and fell and landed on your butt or head. 

T has always been a gung-ho (how the heck do you spell that) kind of player.  Especially when he’s competing against other men.  He goes as hard as he can. 

This particular broomball season from 2005 was a dangerous one for him.  He almost broke his knee and punctured his umm….well….errr….scrotum area.    I was going to say ball sack but that just sounded vulgar. 

I of coursed photographed his injuries.  For posterity. 

*The following pictures are shocking but true and unaltered. 

This is an actual picture of T’s knee after a broomball accident.  I think he slammed into the boards or something.  I do know that it was enough of an injury to keep him from playing the rest of the game.  It has to be REALLY bad for him to stop playing.  He is a guy ya know. 

That

Let’s look at a picture with both his knees so you can take it all in. 

Double Knee

Since this horrific injury, we’ve recalled this event many times.  We refer to it as “T’s Double Knee.”  It was just sickening.  He didn’t go to the doctor even though he probably should have, but if I do recall he did use pain medication and ice.  His knee is actually probably shattered into a million pieces but his brain has numbed the pain over the years. 

This next injury actually called for a visit to the doctor.  it was pretty bad. 

World

Repulsive isn’t it?  I’m not 100% sure how this happened, but I think that T was somehow pushed into the boards while he was holding his stick.  The end of the stick, which is metal, was jammed into his leg.  Hard!  It bruised almost immediately and I think there was some bleeding from where the end of the stick went into his leg.  You can see that spot at the top of his leg.  It was quite the ordeal with this bruise.  It took a long time for it to heal.  he actually had to go to the doctor for this one.  There was this hard lump under the skin where the stick had hit him.  

Healing..sort of!

You can see that the bruise is a bit smaller.  Our friends and fellow broomballers had a fun time watching this bruise heal.  It was a long but colorful process!  The green and black colors worried me a bit, but he survived. 

T was just thanking his lucky stars that the stick landed where it did.  Two inches to the right and his manhood would have been toast! 

Random memory:  When T went to the doctor to have this checked out he had a hot nurse.  I had to hear about it for a week about how the hot nurse touched his groin.  Such a perv.

Happy Saturday yall!!! 

J