For the first time in my life, I voted. 

I’ve been eligible to partake in voting for about 5 years (I’m 23 now), but I’ve just never felt the drive to do it.

I did.  And I’m glad that I exercised my right to choose our country’s leader. 

See!

Those are the directions that I received before making my way to the booth.  I would have shown my proof by posting a picture of myself proudly wearing my “I Voted” sticker, but the polling location didn’t have any. 

What a let down…

DId you vote?  64% of all eligible voters did.  That’s amazing.  Not like American Idol voting, but damn close.

J

….moving, unpacking, cleaning, organizing, arranging, stressing…..

WoooooSaaaaaa!  I need to freakin’ relax.  Talk at you peeps later! 

I had this amazing post with some funny pictures.  For whatever reason the pictures are not showing up.  They were showing up as I was writing it, but now they’ve disappeared! 

F*ck!!!

Anyway…maybe I will get it figured out for tomorrows post.  (Breathe deep Julie….)

I saw this duck tank at a hotel while driving around yesterday. 

Just thought I’d share…

I suddenly want to take a bubble bath and blow shit up at the same time!

Duck Tank

Ok…If this article doesn’t make you tear up a litte then you’re a cold hearted bastard…

http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/front/6077359.html

That’s right folks!  I’ve completed my second week at my new job!  That’s pretty dang exciting if you ask me. 

So far I really enjoy the job.  The people I work with are pretty chill AND they aren’t senior citizens; which is a plus. 

I’m not really that busy at work as the program I’m in is pretty new, but I’m learning and meeting new people everyday. 

I apologize for the sucky posts lately.  I’m busy as hell and have no time or ambition to write anything with meaning. 

Hate me if you want to… 

Later peeps!

J

Need a jam to get your butt in gear today?  This song makes me shake it…not quite like these beotches, but dang close.

Not.

Don’t ask me how…but I’ve somehow missed all of the new episodes of Grey’s Anatomy. 

I didn’t even realize that the new season had started!!!  Grey’s is my 2nd favorite show and I’ve missed it.  I feel strange like I’ve somehow broken up with the show and we’ve both gone our separate ways. 

Grey’s…if you’re listening…I’m sorry.  I’m sorry I forgot how much I loved you.  C

Will you take me back? 

TGIF yall!  This week flew by! 

J

Markus

Ladies and gentlemen…please take a look at the exhibit above. 

A= Nipple/Boob shaped lamp that can be found at Olive Garden

B=T’s Daddy-O pretending to suckle. 

Guilty or not guilty! 

Here’s a little letter that can be found on my new favortite website; Craigslist.  I’ve always enjoyed Craigslist, but T’s Dad told me about the BEST OF section.  There’s some funny stuff in there.  This letter was written by a your friendly adult sotre clerk.  Thank you for being awesome Craig…whoever you may be.

An Open Letter From Your Local Adult Store Clerk

Dear Adult Store Shoppers,

Maybe you want to buy some pornography or maybe you’d like to purchase some condoms, lube, lingerie, toys, games or whatever other merchandise we carry. That’s great, and I hope you find what you want in the store, but please, avoid these pitfalls and be a good customer.

1. If you are a needy as hell customer who asks me to check movies before you rent or buy them to make sure you will like them, I will secretly hate you. All of our movies have people fucking in them. Usually 2 or more people! This much you should know. Now do the following: Look at the box cover. Is it appealing to you? No? Stop, put the movie away and pick up another and try again. Yes? Good! Now, turn over the box. Do you see those other pictures? If none of those appeal to you, don’t rent the movie. If they appeal to you, rent it, take it home, wank to it, be happy. If it’s not to your liking, shut the fuck up and rent another movie. I really don’t care if it wasn’t appropriate wanking material up to your fine and high pornography standards. This isn’t a restaurant where you can send something back if you don’t like it – it’s a porn store.

2. If you return movies that you rented with unidentified substances on them, you are a nasty motherfucker who should get hit by a bus. I get paid $9.00/hour, which is not enough to clean up your spunk. Wash your hands before you take the DVD out of the player, you nasty ass son of a bitch. After you return that nasty jizz covered movie, I will curse you loudly, put on 2 pairs of latex gloves, use copious amounts of cleaning supplies and then put a nasty note in your account about how you are a nasty asshole who can’t return a movie the way we gave it to you - clean and DNA free. Then, everyone who works in the store knows what a nasty person you are. So for the love of Christ, wash your nasty hands and have some respect for the people who work here.

3. If you and your partner come into my store and you want to buy some lingerie, that is great. It’s even nice if your husband/boyfriend/John/whatever wants to help you into the lingerie as some of the stuff we sell is hard to get on by yourself. But seriously, don’t fuck in my dressing room. That is nasty and gross. Take your lingerie, try it on, buy it if you like it, take it home and fuck there. I wouldn’t come into your place of work and fuck on your desk, so don’t have sex here in my store. Don’t try to be sneaky about it either. If I notice you’ve been in the dressing room for more than a few minutes, I’m going to come by and knock on the door to see if everything is okay. And if I hear moaning and grunting, I’m going to call the police.

4. Please treat our merchandise with some respect. In any other store would you open up boxes, rip off labels, or throw things around? I doubt it. Also, my store is not a club or a party. I know we are open late, so maybe you really do think this is a club, but I swear it’s not. It’s a store. We’re here to sell things and make money. The things we sell are fun and great, sure, but this is not a place for you and all of your friends to come in and laugh and scream and point (and destroy merchandise, as mentioned above) for 2 hours and then leave without purchasing anything.

5. Don’t hit on me or any of my coworkers. That is desperate and gross. Also, you’re standing at my counter with 2 tranny movies, some desensitizing spray and a pair of panties. Do you really think this situation lends itself to me agreeing to go out with you? Nope, didn’t think so. Also, don’t stare at me or my coworkers like we’re pieces of meat. Don’t ask us inappropriate questions either. No, I won’t demonstrate how the toys are used. I also won’t tell you what it is I like in bed. And seriously, if you ask me to model lingerie one more time, I’m going to kick you out.

6. Additionally, just because I work at an adult store does not make me uneducated, a freak, a stripper, a prostitute or desperate. I am college educated (and currently in graduate school), well read and a pretty normal person with friends, family, a dog, hobbies, etc. I took this job for a variety of reasons, none of which I have to explain to you.

7. If I ask for your ID, don’t give me grief. Take it as a compliment – I’m saying that you look youthful and fresh. I can get in trouble and lose my job for letting someone under 18 into the store. Don’t bitch about how you don’t have your ID (I have to ask you to leave, sorry) or how you have to go out to your car and walk the terrible 30 feet to get it or ask me how old I think you are. You look like you could be under 18. Show me your ID and I’ll leave you alone. If all of your friends show me their ID but you “don’t have yours,” I’m going to have to ask you to go outside. Just because all of your friends are 18+ does not mean you are. I know it’s a bummer, but it’s the rule.

8. And finally, if you are someone who brings your child into the store, you fail at parenting and at life.

Thanks, and have a great day.

Your Friendly Adult Store Clerk

T and I watched an episode of Toughest Race on Earth.  It’s on the Discovery Channel.  The show is about dog sledders (?) who are racing in the Iditarod. 

It’s sweet!  One of the rookies left the check point without a dog.  He forgot to hood up one of the dogs.  Lol.  It’s so neat to see the dogs run and see how excited they are to pull the sleds through snow and ice and rocks. 

You’ve got to be hard core to even think about doing that race.  I’m happy to see a few women in there too.  Check it out if you get a chance. 

I’m waiting on pins and needles about this damn house closing so I’ve really got nothing to blog about. 

If I hear anything I’ll keep you update.  Until then….I need sleep. 

J

OK, not for real.  Only in the blogosphere. 

Someone in my orientation for my new job asked if we were allowed to take mental health days. 

The Human Resources person laughed and then moved on to the next topic.